Nighttime Thoughts

Each night, as I ease 3 people towards bed, one being me, my mind fills up with thoughts, so many thoughts. Did I do well enough as a single mother today? Did I really apply myself? Or did I slack off because of my chronic pain? Will I ever write that book I keep stored in my head & in many journals & notes scattered throughout my house, phone & tablet? Did I show my children how to work hard and think smarter? Will I ever, Ever, “make it”? Will tomorrow be the day I finally get that job that sets me on my course since my divorce a year ago? And believe me when I say there are many more thoughts to write about, but would you really want to read them?
I am a lover of Knowledge. I seek it out, I collect it like it’s dying and I do my best to convert it into Wisdom. Knowledge can come from studying, but some of my best pieces of information are the ones I had to learn through experience. Life. Mistakes. Learning from those mistakes. Readjusting to make sure a lesson is properly learned. I don’t always get it right the first time, sometimes it takes four times, but I do my best to not make that a habit. Life, for all of us, is a constant stream of changes. If you don’t learn to bend with the wind, you Will break. Eventually.
What are Your bedtime thoughts? Do you often regret your day? If so, try not to tomorrow. Do you let others rule your decisions? I use to, but not anymore. Today, I am Me, the person with big ideas and larger dreams. I love to think about my wardrobe for the next day, it excites me, and helps me to begin loving tomorrow. One tiny little thought…it can make or break your day. My biggest thought is always if I did well enough as a mother, as a person. When my soul departs my body, will it have made a difference? For others, and for myself? Because, in the end, it Does matter. Tonight’s thoughts lead to tomorrow’s actions, and next year’s results.
So, tonight, think. Be thoughtful and see where it goes.

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